


it's you.

by trixicbean



Series: always [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: (should be), Bisexual Addison Montgomery, Bisexual Meredith Grey, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixicbean/pseuds/trixicbean
Summary: Addison returns to Seattle in 4x13 and something had shifted with huge magnitudes and it might completely change the lives of both Addison and Meredith forever as they finally start to be honest with each other.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery
Series: always [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085906
Comments: 38
Kudos: 109





	1. i don't hate you

**Author's Note:**

> i was rewatching Grey's Anatomy with my mum again and i returned to the Meredith/Addison tag and then wrote this at 3am

Addison wasn’t entirely sure how it had started but somehow it wasn’t the first time that Meredith had found her way into Addison’s bed and Addison had found her staying the night. It had almost become routine, Meredith falling into bed with Addison. But tonight was different. Tonight, Meredith had just walked in, complaining of her tiredness, and fallen asleep in Addison’s arms. Now, Addison was awake, while Meredith lay there snoring lightly as she laid on her chest, overthinking about how the hell she got here in the first place. 

She guessed it kind of started whenever Meredith broke up with Finn, though she wasn’t quite sure when that was. She and Derek had finalised the divorce not long afterwards and then she discovered that Derek was no longer involved in a competition to win the heart of Dr Grey and she wasn’t even sure that Derek knew it, not that he was playing like he wanted to win. She’d overheard Cristina trying to make Meredith tell Derek she broke up with Finn before Meredith walked into her room. She had the intern on her service that day. 

“You broke up with Finn?” she asked out of complete curiosity as the patient was in CT. It was the only moment they had really had alone. 

“Yeah,” Meredith shrugged, focusing on the screen. Addison’s heart sped up a little bit, she had felt right around Meredith since they’d met. She thought it was hate at first, hate at the woman for being the one who got Derek smiling again and got his attention again, something she hadn’t had for years. Then later, maybe when she finally let herself feel her emotions and understand she released that her anger at Derek for cheating was jealousy that he had Meredith and somehow for some reason she was attracted to the woman who stole her husband. She pushed it down though until that day when Meredith had appendicitis and she had been called into that hospital room. 

“Addison! Doctor Mongomery-Shepherd!” Addison sighed and backed up down the hallway to go into the patient room. 

“You bellowed Doctor Grey,” she deadpanned, looking over at the woman on the bed. 

“Hi,” Meredith had an almost crazed smile on her face. 

“You certainly are, aren’t you?” Addison took the chart from the nurse as she left the room and had a look. Appendicitis. “But you’re not pregnant,” Addison filled with relief as she said those words. She told herself it was because she didn’t want to deal with the gossip that would roam the hospital if people found out her ex-husband had got an intern pregnant. 

“No,” Meredith stated quite plainly as Addison looked over the chart again, “Are you okay?” she asked. Well, this was happening. 

“Fine,” she sighed, letting the chart slam shut and turning to Meredith with a fake smile, “How are you?” she punctuated each word plainly and tried to ignore any of the other feelings in her body. She was meant to hate Meredith.

“I’m trying to choose between two men,” Meredith croaked a little. Yep, Addison didn’t want to have this conversation. 

“Okay, well, good luck with that,” Addison smiled, taking her chart and going to leave. Definitely, didn’t want this conversation. 

“How did you know Derek was the one?” Meredith’s words stopped Addison in her path as she made it to the door and she sighed spinning around to face the intern. 

“Excuse me,” she asked. 

“I know you hate me and all and,” Meredith started. Addison didn’t hate her. She was meant to be but she didn’t, that intern was almost impossible to hate, “You don’t owe me anything,” Meredith went on talking as Addison found herself walking over to the girl. “Nothing, No thing,” Meredith dragged out the words she was completely out of it. 

Addison reached the end of the bed again and Meredith looked at her, “What was I saying?” Meredith asked. She wasn’t going to remember any of this. Addison could say whatever she wanted. 

“Derek,” she deadpanned, she let herself smile for just a second. Meredith was cute like this. Addison pushed that thought away. 

“I want him to be the one,” Meredith confessed, “But I would know if he was the one, right? You knew, right?”. Addison thought over her words, it was so long and she was so young, she thought she knew but she wasn’t so sure now. 

“You don’t,” Addison started before rethinking, “I didn’t know,” she confessed, “I just,” she thought again, “Derek’s the kind of guy. I just knew he wouldn’t hurt me. Not on purpose anyway. Not the way I hurt him,”. 

  
“He hurt me,” Meredith sighed and guilt rushed through Addison. That was her fault. “When he chose you,”. 

“I should have let him go,” Addison shrugged. She didn’t want him, she wanted what they used to have, she didn’t want him. “I should have stepped aside, been a better person. I should have,” Addison was filled with an unusual regret. “A lot of things,”. 

“Me too, I should have a lot of things,” Meredith agreed. 

“I don’t hate you,” Addison felt she had to say it as she looked at the intern in the bed and ignored all the feelings in her body. It was nothing, she was crazy. Meredith wouldn’t remember any of this. 

Addison didn’t confront her feelings until the day she watched as Meredith, grey and blue, came into the hospital through the wrong doors, the doors she shouldn't be coming through. That tube in her mouth as she was barely breathing. She was in love with her ex-husband’s ex-girlfriend. Everything inside her panicked as she watched the intern lie there and then left soon after and took an executive decision not to think about Meredith the whole time she was in LA. 

It didn’t go that well but she didn’t have to think about her until she returned and found out that Meredith and Derek still weren’t together. Don’t worry though, they were doing a clinical trial together while he dated a nurse. He was an idiot to let her go and she made sure she told him that.

The night everything changed, though, was when Addison was at Joe’s with Callie and Erica, watching Erica regularly giving Callie gay panic, while Meredith was there with Cristina. Lexie, George and the other interns were there too but it was Meredith that had called after her when she started to leave. 

“Hey, you leaving already?” came the familiar voice that Addison had been trying so hard to forget. She didn’t like to think about the fact she sensed some disappointment in Meredith’s voice. 

“I have a plane to catch,” she explained as she spun to face the woman for just a second before she turned back toward the door until for some reason she second-guessed herself and turned back to Meredith. If she hadn’t gone through everything for Meredith not to be with Derek and be happy. 

“I walk on the beach now,” she started after taking a few steps toward Meredith, “I buy aromatherapy candles, I’m very zen but I wanna kick your ass so badly right now,” she shrugged. Meredith should be happy. Derek made her happy, “It is killing me,”. 

Meredith had been listening, her eyes fully trained on Addison’s, “Excuse me?” she asked. 

“I’m talking about Derek,” Addison forced the words out, she couldn’t believe she was having to say this. “Derek Christopher Shepherd. Are you letting him get away?” Meredith rolled her eyes and bit her lip, looking off to the side. She tried not to get distracted as she went on, “Because I swear to God, Meredith if you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing,” Addison paused, she had left the sentence hanging. What else was she to say? She’d say she’d kill her but she’d already said that so she turned away and went to walk out before she said something she shouldn’t. 

“Addison,” Meredith called after her. She sighed and turned back to face the blonde. 

“Yes, Meredith,” she sighed, turning on her heel and staying rooted on the spot where she stood, watching the woman in front of her as the blonde took a deep breath. 

“I’m not in love with Derek,” Addison barely caught the words as they left her mouth, so quiet. A whispered confession into the loud hustle of the bar laughs and talking all around them but Addison could only focus on Meredith and the words she said. 

“What?” she asked in complete disbelief, walking back toward Meredith and taking a seat next to her. Surely, she didn’t say that. Surely, those words didn’t leave her lips.

“I’m not in love with Derek,” Meredith breathed still quite quietly as she looked down at her glass. Addison didn’t really know what to say. 

“Well, I really told him the wrong thing,” she laughed, picking at the nuts on the table in the front of them. 

“What did you tell him?” Meredith asked. 

Addison sighed, “Well,” she smiled, popping one of the nuts in her mouth and chewing on it to give her time to think for just a second. Repeating to herself over and over in her head not to say something stupid. “I told him he was an idiot for breaking up with you and I asked him what the hell he was doing and then was told all about the clinical trial,”. She was looking at the table so hard that she didn’t notice Meredith’s intense stare until she turned her head and caught that intense stare with her own gaze. Her breath hitched in her throat as she watched the woman as she thought over what to respond. 

“I realised quite a while ago,” she eventually admitted, “I think I was just afraid to confront the fact but I realised how he treated me,” Meredith took a deep breath, shaking her head and looking down at her drink, “I didn’t deserve that,”.

Meredith took another deep breath, “Oh fuck,” she whispered before coughing, “I haven’t even told Cristina this,” she laughed nervously, looking up at Addison again, “I figured out I was in love with someone else,” she confessed with a sigh at a whisper again as if she had suddenly remembered they were in a crowded bar full of the staff of the hospital that loved gossip more than anything else in the world. 

Addison felt her heart sink as she processed Meredith’s words. She was in love with someone else. Probably another man and Addison was going to have to hear all about it. Regardless, she took a deep breath and sighed. 

“Who is he?” she asked, trying not to leak any emotion into her voice. 

“She,” Meredith corrected quickly and Addison’s heart sank even further. It was easier to accept the fact Addison love for Meredith was unrequited when she thought she was straight. “I’m bisexual,” Meredith confessed with a shrug when she spotted Addison’s confused look. 

“I didn’t expect that. My gaydar is usually better,” Addison smiled and it was her turn to receive the confused look. 

“I’m bi too,” she explained and Meredith smiled. 

“Didn’t expect that either after both Mark and Derek,”. 

“People are full of surprises,” Addison shrugged. She really needed a drink. 

“When’s your flight?” Meredith asked. 

“Tomorrow morning,” Addison confessed. 

“Well, you can have one more drink then,” she smiled, turning to Joe, “Whisky, right?” she asked. 

  
“Yeah,” Addison smiled, surprised Meredith knew let alone remembered. Joe placed the drink in front of Addison and a different one in front of Meredith, knowing the woman it was probably some tequila-based concoction. 

Addison took a slow drink, glancing at Meredith. “So, who is she, then?” she found herself asking. This was not how she expected to spend her night whatsoever. 

Meredith obviously felt the same laughing nervously, “You know my half-sister joined the interns,” she avoided the question, looking behind her at a woman leaning against a wall and laughing with O’Malley. Addison hadn’t missed the news he failed the intern exam. 

She decided to humour her, “What’s she like?”. 

  
“Oh, Lexie, she’s the exact opposite of me,” Meredith laughed but it wasn’t happiness, it was tiredness mixed in with pain. A painful reminder she had never had what her sister had had. 

“I have an older brother, Archer, he’s a neurologist. Depending on the opinion of both me and him we are either completely different or the exact same,” she found herself confessing. 

“Why?” Meredith turned her attention back to Addison, the intense stare returning. 

“Well, by all accounts, he’s a manwhore,” she sighed, “The similarity depends on the opinion of me,” she shrugged, taking another drink. 

“If it’s any help, you’re not a whore and, plus, people are a lot more than who they sleep with or fall in love with,” she added the last part hastily but her voice was still as soft as it was throughout. She looked down at their almost empty drinks for a second before looking back around them. Addison hadn’t noticed how fast she had been drinking. She took another drink as she watched Meredith take a deep breath. 

“Do you want to get out of here? Talk somewhere quieter,” Meredith suggested quietly. Addison almost choked before she finished her drink. This was either going to be a mistake or it was going to a life-altering decision. At the time, she thought life-altering might be more accurate. 

Yet, she still agreed, a whispered, “Sure,” and a soft smile to the woman who then downed her own drink before standing up and Addison followed her out of the bar. 

“My hotel isn’t far,” Addison found herself saying as they walked into the alleyway. She had been sure to pick one near the hospital. 

“Lead the way,” Meredith shrugged and Addison did all the way up to her hotel room, unlocking with the key. By the time they got there, they were laughing. Meredith had told some story but Addison could barely remember what it was now. Her memory from that night really centred around one thing and it started with the tension that arose as the laughter ceased just inside the room and neither of them knew exactly what to do or say under the harsh hotel lighting. 

“Meredith,” she started at the same time the woman in front of her began to say her name. 

  
“You go,” they both offered again at the same time resulting in awkward laughter that ended with Meredith insisting that Addison go ahead and speak. 

“Should I take your coat?” she found herself asking. She really should start thinking about what she says before she says it. 

  
“Thank you,” Meredith began to shrug it off, getting caught on one side. Addison wasn’t entirely sure what it was stuck on but she took hold of Meredith’s arms, standing in front of her, trying to help her. 

“It’s fine,” Meredith muttered, yanking the sleeve, “I think I got it,” she yanked it again and it came loose, falling to the floor as Meredith looked back up, lifting her head, Addison realised how close they really were as Meredith’s breath ghosted over her lips. Neither of them made any effort to move. 

Addison tried to keep her eyes on Meredith’s and thank god she did because she watched as Meredith’s eyes darted down to her lips for just a second and how Meredith sucked in a breath and a tongue darted out to wet her lips. Apart from that Meredith didn’t break eye contact. It was Addison that slowly tilted her head, slightly to one side as she held her gaze but then it wasn’t just her who started to slowly close the gap between them. Addison stopped close to Meredith’s lips watching her, checking it was okay and Meredith stopped too, both of them waited in that moment for just a second. Nervousness, checking the other wanted this and neither of them moved so Addison slipped her eyes shut as she leaned forward into that gap and her lips found Meredith’s. 

The first kiss was hesitant, both of them afraid that either might pull away but neither of them did and the second kiss was a little more sure of itself and their lips pushed against each other. Meredith’s hand reached out and found Addison’s hip and pulled her closer and Addison took the hint and she let all restraint she had left go as her hand found their way to cup the smaller woman’s face, one hand threading into her hair as she pulled Meredith closer and the kiss became more desperate, Meredith’s other hand finding her waist and pulling her even closer. 

That was the first time. Addison ended up missing her flight the next morning as she got distracted with the discovery of Meredith’s day off. They didn’t talk much about what they were doing that day. Addison just telling her about LA while Meredith caught her up on gossip from Seattle in the breaks from their activities. She learnt so much about Meredith lying in that bed with her. She just called Naomi to tell her she was staying a bit longer. 

She spent the next day, while Meredith was at work actually exploring Seattle, meeting Meredith for lunch outside the hospital where no one would find them where they just talked more. It was surprising how easily the conversation flowed. She then explored more of the city before a call from Meredith and she was meeting her back at the hotel and they fell into bed before ordering room service. The day after was the same followed by the next which followed the same evening routine except Addison spent the day at Seattle Grace consulting on a pregnant car crash trauma. Her and Meredith’s interactions solely were stolen looks as they passed each other in the corridors, running from place to place. The only difference was that they ordered takeaway and found themselves in an on-call room, thanking God Meredith was never paged. 

The next day it was back at the hotel but it was later and without the room service and the night after the room service returned again with the conversation about their day but it was the day after that Meredith came in late after a long surgery where she lost another clinical trial patient and she looked ready to break down so she just pulled the woman into her arms and it wasn’t long before Meredith was asleep and Addison was awake overthinking. 

Addison had been subjected to many conversations she didn’t want in her relationship with Derek so she knew the woman in her arms that had an issue with commitment so she wasn’t surprised they hadn’t labelled their relationship or spoken about their feelings. Addison could only hope she was the ‘she’, she was the person Meredith was in love with. Hope didn’t do her much and not much sleep didn’t do her much either so she just settled down, holding Meredith close and tried to slip off into sleep. 

When she woke the next morning it was to Meredith pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Morning, darling,” she whispered, not even opening her eyes. 

“Morning,” came the whispered reply. 

“Are you feeling any better?” Addison asked, letting her eyes slip open so she could look at the beautiful face now lying on the pillow in front of her. She lifted a hand and brushed some of her blonde locks out of Meredith’s eyes. 

“A little,” she smiled softly, “I have to leave in an hour or so for rounds but I just wanted to tell you I’m going for a shower,”. 

An hour. Addison knew it didn’t take Meredith that long to get ready and she knew what she was hinting at and however much she loved that she thought she might be able to hijack the time to finally have that conversation so she reached an arm out and caught Meredith’s hip and held her close with a soft smile. “What are we doing?” she asked. 

Meredith looked to her in confusion before she smirked, “Hopefully, about to have sex,”. 

“Meredith,” Addison warned, moving away as Meredith leaned in to meet her lips. This was taking a lot of restraint and energy that she didn’t want to be exercising at this time of the morning. 

“Addison,” Meredith smiled, a little disappointed. 

“I meant what are we doing with us,” she clarified and she instantly felt Meredith stiffen as she sensed there was no way out of this conversation so she started to talk first. “I live in LA and I have the practice to run out there and commitments and everything yet I’m here and I don’t regret it at all but I have a job so I need to know what this is, what I am putting myself into,”. 

“I don’t know how to say it,” Meredith whispered, all the vulnerability held in her voice made Addison want to pull her closer and just somehow shield her from the world. 

“You know, I really left Seattle because I was in love with someone and I was so afraid she wouldn’t love me back and I couldn’t bear to confront my feelings for her,” Addison admitted and she felt Meredith’s breath hitch next to her. 

“Addison,” she whispered with even more vulnerability in her voice as the world slipped out of her mouth. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Addison smiled softly. 

“It’s you. The girl I was talking about at the bar,” the words fell out of her mouth, almost meddling into each other as she didn’t rush to say them but just tried to get them all out. 

“It’s you too,” Addison laughed, pulling her closer and into a kiss. 

  
“Really?” Meredith asked as she pulled away for a second. 

“Yeah, really,” Addison smiled and Meredith’s face split into a huge smile before she met Addison’s lips again. 

By the end of the morning, Addison was calling Meredith her girlfriend. She didn’t know what would happen next and how they would work but for now, they were here and they were good. Maybe, tomorrow it would work but they had today. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me on [insta](https://www.instagram.com/trixicbean/?hl=en) and [tumblr](https://trixicbean.tumblr.com/) if you want more of my annoying ass


	2. mcguy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> addison and meredith make some hard decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one person asked me to continue this and i had inspo so... yeah...
> 
> i am posting this as i am watching the end of season two

“Addie,” Meredith complained, dragging out her name, as Addison tried to wake her up. It was two days since they’d labelled their relationship and it was becoming increasingly clear they were going to have to sort out what to do about their relationship. Addison hadn’t gone back to the hospital in a few days, out of fear that Richard Webber would try to give her a job and she really didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t think about all that right now, though. That nickname was new. 

  
“You haven’t called me that before,” Addison teased, pressing a soft kiss to Meredith’s lips as the resident very grumpily blinked her eyes open. 

“Don’t,” Meredith sighed, “I have another clinical trial patient today,” she sighed. 

“I know,” Addison smiled, “The surgery is this morning. I can meet you for lunch?” she offered. 

“I think I can get behind that,” Meredith smiled a little more, looking over Addison’s shoulder at the clock on the bedside table. Addison followed her gaze. 

“I think we’ve learnt you don’t have time,” she laughed, pressing another kiss to Meredith’s lips and rolling away, “You need to get ready for work,”. 

Meredith considered her options for a second, looking between the clock and Addison before she sighed, “Fine,” she rolled her eyes, dragging out the word as she got out of bed, “Not even in the shower?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she walked very slowly and very naked into the bathroom. 

“Fine,” Addison laughed, getting out of bed and following Meredith to the bathroom, capturing her lips in a kiss, “We have to be quick,” she warned her between kisses. 

“Yeah,” Meredith shrugged nonchalantly. 

-

It had been a pretty good morning and Meredith had almost forgotten the clinical trial patient she was probably going to kill today as she walked into the doors of Seattle Grace. 

“Mer!” came yell from behind her. Izzie. She spun around to face her friend jogging to catch her up, “Where have you been? You haven’t been home in like a week,” it wasn’t the first time she had been asked some kind of version of this question. 

“Meredith hasn’t been home in a week?” Cristina’s familiar laugh came in as the woman joined Meredith on her other side. “Who’s the guy?” she asked, taking a smug sip from her coffee. 

“There’s no guy,” Meredith shrugged, it wasn’t technically a lie. 

“There’s so a guy,” Izzie laughed as they reached the elevator, pushing the button to call it. 

  
“What guy?” Alex asked, joining them as the elevator doors slid open. 

“Meredith hasn’t been home in a week,” Cristina smirked. 

“We think there’s a guy,” Izzie smiled. 

  
“There’s no guy,” Meredith deadpanned. 

“There’s a guy,” Alex agreed, looking Meredith up and down, “She’s smiling and she doesn’t smile in the morning unless she’s had sex,”. 

Meredith desperately tried to hide her smile, “There’s no guy,” she muttered. 

“There’s so a guy,” Cristina laughed smugly. 

“What guy?” George met them as they got off the elevator. 

“Meredith is mcsexing a McGuy to get over McDreamy but is mcdenying it,” Izzie laughed. 

“She hasn’t been home in a week,” Alex smiled smugly. This was going to be a painful day. She picked up her charts from the nurse. 

“I need to go check up on my clinical trial patient,” she sighed, looking at the first chart. 

“I am going to join you,” Cristina followed Meredith as she took a turn down a different corridor to the others. 

“Don’t you have Hahn to beg for surgeries?” she asked pointedly. 

“I can grovel later, this is more interesting,” Cristina smiled, “Who’s the guy?”. 

“Not a guy,” Meredith sighed through gritted teeth, reading through the chart. 

“Girl?” Cristina asked with a small laugh, she knew Meredith was bi. Meredith didn’t really know what to say in response, she didn’t want to lie to her best friend so instead, she didn’t say anything, focusing on the chart in front of her. 

“Holy shit, Mer,” Cristina slammed the chart shut, “Who is she? Do I know her? When did you meet her?” she asked and Meredith knew she wasn’t going to hear the end of this. They were passing an on-call room so she reached over and pushed it open. 

“In,” she demanded and Cristina smiled smugly as she followed Meredith in and Meredith shut the door, putting the charts down on the bed, “You are sworn to complete secrecy,” she warned. 

“You got it,” Cristina smiled, “Who is she?”. 

Meredith took a deep breath before she let her name slip from her mouth, “Addison,” she breathed quietly and Cristina instantly burst out in laughter. Meredith just watched her, waiting for the laughter to subside. 

“Very funny, Mer,” she managed to get out, a little out of breath, as her laughter died down, “Who is it, really?”. 

“Addison Montgomery,” Meredith shrugged with a smile. 

“You’re kidding,” Cristina laughed. 

“Nope,” Meredith shook her head and her best friend took a seat on the bed. 

“You spent this week with Addison Montgomery, double-board certified neonatal surgeon and ex-husband of your ex-boyfriend?” Cristina asked in complete disbelief. 

“The very one,” Meredith smiled. 

  
“Satan?”. 

“She isn’t anything like Satan,” Meredith rushed to defend her, “But, yeah, that one,”. 

“You’re lying,” Cristina laughed as Meredith’s phone buzzed with a text. She picked it up to check it wasn’t anything important. 

**Addison:** Good luck this morning. Text me when you get out of surgery.

Meredith bit her lip with a smile as she read the text and Cristina looked up victoriously. “That’s her?” she asked, standing up and looking over Meredith’s shoulder. 

“Holy shit, you’re not lying,” she breathed. 

“I’m not,” Meredith laughed at her best friend’s complete shock. 

“I thought she went back to LA?” Cristina asked. 

“She was meant to,” Meredith shrugged. 

  
“What about Derek?” Cristina asked. 

“I should probably explain my big epiphany,” Meredith sighed, sitting down on the bed. 

“We don’t have long so be quick,” Cristina smiled as Meredith took a deep breath and explained her realisation about her feelings toward Derek, how he treated her and how she loved someone else and that that person felt the same way. She didn’t go into her fears for the future.

“Holy shit, Mer,” Cristina breathed as she finished explaining. 

“Yeah,” Meredith laughed. 

“That’s a lot,”. 

“I know,”. 

Her pager went off and they both had to run, they were both incredibly late for rounds but neither of them cared much. The surgery, like the rest, didn’t go well and Meredith was texting Addison as soon as she had scrubbed out and was then heading down to meet her, Cristina promising to cover for her if she was late.

“Hey,” Addison smiled softly as Meredith reached her. 

“I told Cristina about us,” Meredith blurted out as soon as she was close.

“You only just told her?” Addison asked surprised as Meredith slipped her hand into hers and they started to walk somewhere they could sit down and eat. 

  
“We don’t tell each other everything straight away, just when we feel like it or need advice,” Meredith shrugged, everyone had the impression they told each other everything instantly, the reality was they just knew what the other was thinking most of the time. In other words, Meredith was fluent in Cristina and Cristina was fluent in Meredith. 

“What did she say then?” Addison asked. 

  
“It’s Cristina,” Meredith smiled, “Not much,” she finished before she took a breath. One of them was going to have to bring it up and she couldn’t believe she was going to do it, “She did ask about you being in LA,”. She pressed her lips together as she asked. At the same time, they reached the park and a bench, taking a seat there. 

She felt Addison take a deep breath next to her, “I knew this was coming,” Addison leant back against the bench. 

“I think we both did,” Meredith laughed nervously as Addison’s hand took a hold of her hand again, turning her hand over and lacing their fingers together. They fell into a silence, both of them scared to speak, both of them scared to break something so perfect. 

“I did bring food,” Addison offered and the silence relaxed as Meredith smiled. 

“I can go for some food,” she let out a breath of relief. They could stall the conversation a little longer. 

They stalled the conversation till that evening when Meredith came back, she had thought about what she was going to say to Addison most of that day, she even came up with almost a whole script and speech of what she wanted to say and she was going to lose the confidence to say it. 

“Addie,” Meredith smiled as soon as she walked into the room. The nickname slipped out so naturally. 

“Meredith,” Addison smiled softly, lifting her book away from her face and looking at Meredith over the top of her glasses. It was hot. Meredith really wanted to get distracted right about now by something a lot better than the conversation she was about to have. “How was the rest of the day?” she asked, sliding a bookmark into her book and putting it to one side. 

Meredith took a deep breath before starting to talk. She wasn’t going to answer the question and get caught up in some stupid pointless conversation and never say her piece or say it wrong, she always had a way of saying the wrong thing but she opened her mouth to say something and then she forgot everything she was going to say. The words all just disappeared from her brain. 

“Mer?” Addison asked, moving forward to the edge of the bed and leaning forward and catching Meredith’s arm and pulling her close, “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah, yeah,” Meredith smiled, not even getting close to convincing herself she was close to okay. 

“Mer?” Addison questioned again more seriously, pulling her closer so she knelt on the bed next to Addison. 

“Just forgot what I was going to say,” Meredith shrugged it off, pressing a soft kiss to Addison’s lips. She could tell Addison wasn’t convinced as she pressed another to her lips and another. 

“Meredith?” Addison whispered warningly against her lips between kisses before she pulled away when Meredith ignored her whispered warning. 

“Mer,” she smiled softly, tucking a hair behind her ear, “We need to talk about it,”. 

Meredith had heard a lot about LA over the last few days. She knew Addison’s life was there now, she couldn’t make her move back to Seattle. She’d left Seattle for a reason. She took a deep breath. She hadn’t even told Addison she wanted them to stay together and have a relationship though. She hadn’t told her that and she didn’t know how it was too soon. She didn’t want to lose her though. How do you say that out loud though? So instead, she sighed and was completely honest, “I don’t know how to say what I want to say to you. I know what I want to say. I can put it all into words. I just don’t know how to say it because as soon as I look at you, I completely paralyse, my mouth stops working and I don’t know how to say it,”. 

Meredith watched Addison carefully for her reaction for her words. She just smiled softly again. “I’ll start then,” she shrugged before she took a deep breath.

“I want to be with you, Meredith,” she breathed, “I don’t mind where. I just want to be with you,” she smiled.    
  
That’s what Meredith wanted to say. She didn’t know how Addison could say that out loud. But she was renowned for her commitment issues but it was easy to agree. “I feel the same,” Meredith bit her lip and looked away from Addison as she said the words, not wanting to see her reaction. It was a finger under her chin, lifting it up so Meredith looked at Addison again, that brought her to see Addison’s wide smile all the way to her eyes. 

She mirrored her smile and leaned forward, meeting her lips in a kiss. She couldn’t deepen the kiss in any way with the smiles they both had. It was Addison that pulled away with a laugh and Meredith burst out into the same laughter, her head leaning forward so it rested on Addison’s shoulder as she laughed her heart out. She didn’t know why she was laughing at first, it took a second for it to dawn upon her she was laughing because she was happy. Happier than she felt in a long time. They ended falling down to the bed in their laughter, Meredith falling down onto Addison as the taller woman’s arms wrapped around her. 

As their laughter died down it was Addison who asked the question, “Where do we live then?”. 

“I have no idea,” Meredith smiled and she meant it. She didn’t mind, Seattle or LA. Maybe, she minded a little, she’d miss her friends and family in LA but she could live there. UCLA was one of the best teaching hospitals in the country and she had been offered a place there when she first started applying for hospitals. Seattle Grace just felt where she should go with her mom and all and she had a house here anyway. She wasn’t the type of person who would fit in in LA but if there was surgery there, she could be there. “I don’t mind,” she added. Maybe, she did mind a little. 

“Well,” Addison slowly dragged out the word, “I am not officially tied to LA. I am still on the six-month probation at the practice which means I’m not hugely tied down to LA,” she smiled, a kiss placed to Meredith’s forehead. 

“You just moved. I don’t want to uproot you,” Meredith whispered. 

“I told you why I moved in the first place, right?” Addison laughed. She paused for just a second, looking gently into Meredith’s eyes with a soft smile, “I don’t mind moving back at all,” she pressed a kiss to her lips gently, “You shouldn’t interrupt your residency,”.

“You just got a new job,” Meredith fired back, “You shouldn’t interrupt that,”. 

“I’m also a double board-certified neonatal certified. I can’t get a job anywhere,” Addison shrugged, challenging Meredith with the raise of an eyebrow. It was quickly turning into a battle of wills. Both of them trying to do what they thought was best for the other.

“Fine,” Meredith shrugged, “It will be a little awkward staying here with Derek,”. 

“Your friends are here,”. 

“Your friends are in LA,”. 

“I have friends here,” Addison shrugged, staring down Meredith as Meredith desperately struggled for another argument in her favour. “Your sister is here,” Addison added smugly as she waited on Meredith’s response. 

“You have a house in LA,” Meredith attempted as an argument, knowing already what Addison was going to say in response. 

“You have a house here,” Addison quipped back straight away before adding, “Plus, it means I can get back to surgery. I have gone to completely being an OB-GYN in LA. I miss surgery,”. It changed the tone completely, from both listing reasons the other shouldn’t move to why she should. Meredith didn’t have a reason to move to LA other than to be with Addison and that was Addison’s main reason to move to Seattle. 

“I have nothing else to say,” Meredith admitted and watched as Addison’s lips curled up in a smug smile and she pulled Meredith down into a kiss. 

“So, I guess I’m moving back to Seattle then,” Addison smiled widely as she broke away for a second before meeting Meredith’s lips again in a kiss. 

-

Addison left a couple of days later to return to LA and pack up her stuff, five days until she came back to Seattle. They had decided to move into Meredith’s together. Addison wasn’t entirely sure about living in a place with Izzie and Alex, though admittedly the house was the emptiest it had been in a long time. 

Meredith spent the week getting weird looks as she returned home for an extended period of time and cleared out closet and drawer space. Richard had been quick to give Addison her job back. Still, there were only two people who knew about them. Cristina and Callie, who Addison had told over a coffee when Callie had a day off just before she left for LA. 

Five days and Addison didn’t see Meredith until she was at the hospital on the first day, having come straight there from the airport, her stuff was following her out the next day so she didn’t have to make a stop so she went straight to the hospital when she hadn’t seen Meredith in five days and she had to see the woman for the first time in five days across a crowded room, unable to go up to her and even pull her into something as simple as a hug. 

She settled on just a smile across the room and as Meredith’s eyes met hers and she returned the smile with it going all the way to her eyes leaving her with a beautiful, sparkling glint which Addison could only focus on as the rest of the room moved in slow-motion. “Hi,” Meredith mouthed. 

“Hi,” Addison mouthed back before she forced her feet and continued on her path to Richard’s office to pick up her pager and get ready for the day. 

-

“Grey. You’re on my service today,” she demanded as nonchalantly as possible as she walked past Meredith, Cristina, Izzie and Alex all chatting at a nurses station while their interns stood obediently behind them. 

“Come on,” Meredith smiled, clicking her fingers at her interns as she rushed to follow Addison, ignoring whatever Cristina had whispered in her ear as she left the nurses station. 

“What cases do you have today?” Meredith asked as she reached Addison’s side, her hand scraping against the back of Addison’s in an action Addison was sure wasn’t deliberate. 

“Pregnant woman with vaginal bleeding, severe nausea, pelvic pain and an abnormal ultrasound. ER paged for a consult,” Addison explained as they walked toward the elevator. 

She watched as Meredith took it in and she turned back to her interns, “Go round on my pre-ops and post-ops and finish off on my notes,” she told them. George started to move but the rest of them just stood there as Addison pressed the button to call the elevator. “Well, move!” Meredith sighed as the doors pinged open. The elevator was empty and they both moved into it, pressing the button for the ER as the door slipped closed. 

“How was LA?” Meredith smiled as they both stared steadily at the doors. Addison trying to stop herself from pushing Meredith up against the wall and kissing her senseless. 

She failed as soon as she heard that smug smile in the small lilt in her voice, “Shut up,” she found herself laughing, turning and grabbing Meredith’s face and pulling her into a kiss, pushing her up against the wall. Meredith gasped into the kiss, her fingers threading into Addison’s hair. 

The kiss lasted to the time that Addison heard the ping they reach the ER floor and pulled away from Meredith with a sigh. Both of them sorting themselves out for just second before the door slid open. 

  
“LA was fun, thank you, Doctor Grey,” Addison smiled as they both walked out onto the ER floor. She watched Meredith looking over at her, focusing on her lips for longer than she should. She shot her a confused look. 

“You have something just there,” Meredith smiled, pressing her lips together as she pointed to the corner of her own mouth. Addison blushed as she wiped the corner of her mouth with her finger before turning to Meredith to have her check as they reached the obviously pregnant patient. Meredith gave her a nod and picked up the chart as Addison turned to the patient on the bed. 

She managed to spend most of the day with Meredith, she didn’t consider it selfish to steal her girlfriend for the day after five days without seeing her. Their patient had a horrible molar pregnancy and uterine cancer which involved a long and arduous surgery to remove the tumours which left both of them collapsing into Meredith’s car at the end of the day. Meredith drove them both straight back as they casually chatted about which takeaway was best to get. It felt weirdly domestic as they discussed whether to get pizza, Thai or Chinese. They decided on Chinese, Addison calling the takeaway place from the car and it didn’t reach the house much after they did. 

No one else was home when they got there but to avoid the questions they were both too tired for, they hid out in Meredith’s room, catching up and laughing as they ate the food. Meredith telling Addison crazy stories about her, Alex, Izzie, Cristina and George that she was shocked she had never heard on the infamous however not ever reliable Seattle Grace gossip mill, stories which Addison swapped with ones from her intern days. 

The next morning was the highlight, though. They found their way downstairs through laughs and kisses before Addison saw Meredith breakfast plans and she managed to steal Izzie’s baking ingredients to make a somewhat substantial meal which was only made better by Meredith’s arm wrapped around her as she cooked on the stove. The position that Izzie found them as she sprinted down into the kitchen, searching for coffee. 

“Mer, have you seen my travel cup?” she asked, not even looking at Meredith as she slipped away from behind Addison and going to a cupboard behind her and grabbing something out of it. 

“Here,” Meredith smiled, filling it up from the pot that had been made up earlier. Izzie looked up for the first time since she walked in and both Meredith and Addison watched her reaction. She didn’t say much, just looked between Meredith and Addison in shock. 

“What’s going on?” she eventually asked, taking her coffee from Meredith, not even looking at the coffee as she pointed between the two of them. 

Addison looked to Meredith with a smile, “You want to tell her or should I?”. 

“I’ve got it,” Meredith smiled before turning to Izzie. “You know one and a half weeks or so ago when I hadn't been home in a while?” she asked. 

“Oh my god,” Izzie spun to look at Addison, then back at Meredith and then Addison again, “Is Addison McGuy?” she asked. 

“Why are we talking about McGuy, again?” Alex ran in, trying to steal Izzie’s coffee in a move that was obviously routine considering how Izzie spun away from his attempt with expertise. 

“Addison is McGuy,” Izzie laughed, nodding over to the kitchen where Addison was standing. It was an interesting scene to watch, the three of them interacting. She smiled at Alex, he just shrugged and made headway for the coffee. 

“Does Cristina know?” Izzie asked as Meredith went back to the kitchen over to Addison. 

“Yeah,” Meredith shrugged. 

“Do you want something to eat?” Addison directed the question at both of the other residents in the kitchen. 

“I’ll have some as long as Mer hasn’t gone anywhere near that pan,” Alex looked suspiciously over at Meredith who rolled her eyes and shook her head at her friend. 

“I’m not that bad,”. 

“You are,” Izzie piped up, “I’m good without any, thank you,” she looked at Addison, “I don’t trust my interns in pre-rounds,”. 

“I’ve got George,” Meredith smiled widely. 

“Don’t show off,” Alex sighed, “Mine can’t even do an IV, I swear,”. 

Meredith moved back next to Addison as she served up and Izzie yelled her goodbye. “Thank you, Addie,” she whispered as she pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

“No problem,” she smiled back, passing her a plate. 

-

Apart from Alex and Izzie finding out the rest of the week ran without huge amounts of interest. Normal workdays with their relationship largely confined to on-call rooms as they dealt with the doctor’s work schedule, she wasn’t regretting a second though as they caught up in stolen seconds, their shifts annoyingly unaligned in every way but they were both free on the day Addison things showed up from LA. The morning started with the mandatory lie in for both of them, so late they missed breakfast. 

Addison couldn’t bring herself to care though as Meredith suggested they move some of her mother’s boxes of stuff to make room through kisses placed all over her face. She could get behind this. She took Meredith’s face in her hands and pulled her lips down onto hers, the only place Meredith had been avoiding. Meredith laughed lightly into the kiss before she deepened it. 

They had a lazy lunch before Meredith opened up the room full of boxes. There were a lot of boxes. “What’s the plan?” Addison asked, looking at all of them in shock. 

“Move them to the attic which I was always too lazy to do,” Meredith shrugged. 

“What do the one’s labelled Meredith have in them?” she smiled as she looked over each one and observed each of the labels. Most of them were labelled Meredith or surgical tapes. 

“I haven’t checked,” Meredith shrugged, “The only ones ever opened were the surgical tapes and it was Cristina and Izzie that did that,”. 

“What’s on them?” she asked, moving some of them out of the way so she could see how deep the boxes go. 

“Just her surgeries. They like the Whipples best, you can apparently see her special technique in the making,” Meredith’s annoyance came through in her voice as she moved boxes out of the way, “We should probably leave the surgery tapes down here for them. They watch them a lot,”. 

Addison considered her options as she helped begin to sort through them, surgical tapes on one side, Meredith boxes on the other and boxes of books and other things in a different pile. “You don’t watch them?” she questioned gently. 

“Those surgeries are the reason I never had a dad and my mum was barely ever there,” Meredith sighed, moving a load of them to the side and a box split open and books spilt all over the floor, black notebooks covered the carpet. “I thought there was only one,” Meredith dropped to the floor trying to clear them up. 

“One of what?” she asked, kneeling down and helping her, turning the box over so they could pack them back into the box. 

“My mother’s journals,” Meredith explained, flicking one of them open and skimming one of the pages before she dropped it to the floor with a gasp, “She wrote them all throughout her residency,” Meredith deadpanned, staring at the journal like it had burnt her. Addison picked it up and read the page and instantly regretted it. 

“My mother had an affair with the Chief during her residency,” Meredith explained, looking at all the journals in shock. 

“I think I got that part,” Addison mumbled, looking at all the journals, “I did not need to know that,”. 

“You didn’t need to know that!” Meredith sounded close to breaking down, “Do you think Derek can do surgery to purge that from my memories?” she mumbled. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible yet to get rid of one memory,” Addison laughed, leaning back against a wall of boxes. She would have undergone a hundred of that surgery if that was possible. 

“They’re dated,” Meredith flicked through some first pages, “I know when the affair started so I can give Cristina the dangerous ones to proofread,”. 

“You’d do that to her?” Addison asked surprised. 

“She won’t care as long as she gets to read about surgery,” Meredith laughed, putting a few of them back in the boxes and leaving a couple out after checking the dates in the front of them. 

Addison smiled softly at her, “I’ll get some tape to repair the box,” she pressed a kiss to her girlfriend’s lips as she stood up and headed to the kitchen. 

It didn’t take long to find the tape and as soon as she got back, they started to work through them, sorting into boxes for the attic and boxes to stay downstairs. The boxes for the attic filled the hallway and the room, Addison was quickly realising was Ellis’ old office with all the shelves and a space which was probably filled with a desk at one point considering the lines on the carpet. They had emptied a lot of the old medical books that Ellis had collected onto the shelves and the next job was to take the boxes up to the attic. Addison did one trip up and she came back down to see Meredith sitting on the floor, looking through a box. 

“I thought we were moving them not opening them,” Addison smiled as she leaned down and caught a kiss from Meredith’s lips as she passed her. 

“It’s Anatomy Jane,” Meredith laughed, taking off the gown to reveal the colourful organs. “She still has her little twosh,”. 

Addison almost dropped the box she had been picking up, “Her what?” she asked, looking at Meredith holding up a green liver. 

“I could never remember the organ’s real names so I made them up,” Meredith explained and Addison couldn’t help but smile, going to look over Meredith’s shoulder. “Like the twosh was next to the chubble and that was connected to the slivy and oh,” she moved some of the organs around, picking something out, “Look, it’s the jelly pouch,” Meredith held up the, well the best way to put it was she held up the female reproductive system. 

“So I’m an expert in jelly pouches now,” Addison smiled.

Meredith looked up with a smile and raised an eyebrow, “You certainly are,” she winked. 

“Move some boxes,” Addison laughed, shaking her head and picking up a box. 

“I will,” Meredith smiled widely. 

Alex ended up moving most of the boxes when he came back and fell over almost all of them. Apparently, their system was inefficient so Alex took over and Addison got very quickly distracted when she found Meredith having changed into her Yale sweatshirt. 

“That’s mine,” she leant against the door to the bedroom where Meredith was moving more clothing out of some of the cupboards. 

“I know,” Meredith shrugged, “Mine got covered in dust,”. 

“It looks good on you,” Addison walked into the room and grabbed Meredith’s hand, pulling her close. 

Meredith smiled, looking up at her a little, “It’s comfy,”. 

  
“I know,” Addison laughed, “It’s mine,”. 

“I might give it back if I feel like it,” Meredith shrugged. 

“You might, might you,” Addison raised an eyebrow. 

“I might,” Meredith shrugged again. 

“I see how it is,” Addison laughed, meeting Meredith lips in a quick kiss. 

“Mer!” the yell from downstairs broke them apart. Meredith stayed in Addison’s arms and leant away a little. 

“What?” she yelled back at Alex. 

“Your girlfriend’s truck is here,” came the return, “And I’m not your personal slave so come help!”. 

Meredith sighed and leant her head against Addison’s shoulder, “Coming!” she yelled back before turning to Addison, “After you,”. Addison sighed and took Meredith’s hand pulling her out of the room and down the stairs. She could think of a hundred ways she’d much rather spend her time, right now/ 

-

“You know, I’m shocked,” Cristina came up behind Meredith as she tried to write notes. 

“Why are you shocked?” Meredith sighed, turning to face her best friend. 

“I heard from Alex Karev, which is quite frankly offensive I had to learn from him, that you moved a lot of your mother’s boxes into the attic and Addison moved her stuff in yesterday,” Cristina leant against the railing in front of Meredith, flashing her that look. 

“She did move her stuff in,” Meredith shrugged. 

“I did some research by the way,” Cristina smiled. 

Meredith sighed, the more she humoured her the quicker Cristina may get to the point of her teasing, “You did?”. 

“I did,” Cristina smiled, “Are you aware of what a U-Haul lesbian is?”. 

“Yes,” Meredith shut her eyes and took a deep breath. She knew where this was going. 

“Are you aware you have, to put it kindly, crippling commitment issues?”. 

“Yes, I have to go to therapy now if you weren’t aware,” Meredith tried to focus on her notes. 

“Good to know, we’re on the same page,” Cristina smiled, “Now I have to know, how the hell are you a U-Haul lesbian stereotype?” she laughed, staring down her friend. 

“I don’t know,” Meredith shrugged. 

Cristina studied her face, looking her up and down, “Apparently, she cooks,”. 

“Yeah, she does,” Meredith smiled softly, thinking of their meals together. 

“Shit, you’re whipped,” Cristina laughed, “I can’t be near you like this,” she sighed, throwing her hands in the air and pushing away from the barrier, “Be dark and twisty,” she demanded. 

“I’ll try,” Meredith called after her as she walked off. 

“What are you going to try?” Izzie bounded up next to her. Meredith was never going to be able to get any charts done. 

“Apparently, I need to be dark and twisty,” Meredith sighed, looking up at Izzie and spotting Derek behind her. 

“You are uncharacteristically happy and settled with-” Meredith kicked Izzie to make her shut up as Derek got even closer. 

“Meredith, the new clinical trial patient is here,” Derek smiled over her, a weirdly wide smile. 

“If you see one of my interns, preferably George, tell them to finish my post-op notes,” she smiled to Izzie, “I’m off to kill someone,”. 

“McDreamy doesn’t know?” Izzie asked. 

“McDreamy doesn’t even have a clue,” Meredith shrugged before she spun and followed him to their patient room. She pulled out her phone on her way and sent off a text to Addison. 

-

**Meredith:** Apparently, we’re U-Haul Lesbians

Addison smiled as she looked up from her phone. She had surgery in five minutes. A baby in the womb with bronchopulmonary sequestration of the lung flown in specially for her to treat. It was a difficult fetal surgery and she had Karev and Yang with her and she was pretty sure Yang was close to beating Karev up if he got in the way of her and this surgery. She was hungry after Hahn’s attitude toward her in the last few weeks. It was almost funny. She typed out a quick response before she finished getting ready for surgery, fastening her mask behind her head and pulling it over her face. 

**Addison:** I suppose we are. I’m heading into surgery, let me know how the clinical trial patient goes x

-

Addison checked her phone as soon as she walked out of the OR but she didn’t need to as soon as she looked out onto her floor to see Meredith pacing up and down. “Hey,” she smiled, pulling off her scrub cap and undoing her hair from her bun and shaking it out.

“I’ve killed eight patients,” Meredith turned to face her, “Eight patients,” her voice raised a little as she definitely went into a panic. 

“Let’s not yell that on a surgical floor,” Addison suggested, grabbing hold of Meredith’s hand and pulling her to the nearest on-call room. “Okay, now go,” she smiled as Meredith collapsed, sitting down on the bed opposite Addison. 

“I’ve killed eight patients with my method. Eight. Not one, not two. Eight. Eight patients,” Meredith shouted, she was up and pacing again. Addison felt a little out of her depth as Meredith’s pacing increased. “It was my method. I researched it. I put it together. I suggested it to Derek, Addie. This is my fault. I killed eight people,”. She was going to have to cut off the spiral at some point and Meredith was still talking and pacing and panicking. She needed something to say. 

“If I wasn’t trying so hard to do something that could impress my mother,” she tuned back into what the exact words Meredith was saying. She was really going to need to cut her off. How does she cut her off? Addison did the only thing that she knew would stop her talking. She surged forward and kissed her. Surprisingly, it worked. 

“What?” Meredith asked as Addison pulled away. 

“I just needed you to stop talking for a second,” Addison smiled, “So I can tell you that you didn’t kill those patients. They were going to die anyway and they knew the risks, they gave their lives to save others because, Meredith,” she lifted her chin back up so she looked at her properly, in the eyes, “When this works, not if, when this works, you will save so many lives. You just have to get through this hard part,”. 

“Oh,” Meredith breathed, “Okay, you’re good at this,” she laughed. 

“What?” Addison gave her a confused look. 

“Normally, I freak out for a lot longer,” Meredith smiled, “Thank you,”.

“Anytime,” Addison pressed another kiss to her lips. 

“How was the fetal surgery?”.

“Ran smoothly,” Addison smiled as a pager went off. It wasn’t just hers. They both reached between them for their pagers and their hands collided causing them both to laugh as Meredith passed her her pager and then brought out hers. 

“Code Brown,” Meredith read.

“Severe weather,” Addison muttered. There was no window in the room. 

“The pit is going to get so full,” Meredith bit her lip, probably to stop her smile. 

“Don’t act so happy,” she pressed a kiss to Meredith’s lips, “I need to get to the NICU,”.

“I’ll be in the ER looking for an awesome surgery,” Meredith smiled smugly, opening the on-call room door for Addison. 

“Don’t act so happy,” Addison called after her, turning the other way and bumping almost right into Derek. She checked her pager with pretend panic and rushed off to the NICU because he definitely saw her and Meredith leave an on-call room together and that was definitely a conversation Addison didn’t want to have. 

-

The power had gone out around twenty minutes ago in the terrible thunderstorm and Addison had people doing manual compressions on most of the babies in the NICU. “I heard you needed more hands,” Meredith’s familiar voice broke through Addison’s thoughts as she was looking through the charts to know which babies she needed to monitor most. 

“I heard, you were in surgery,” Addison smiled as she still flipped through the charts. 

“Patient pulled through. We were sent to work elsewhere and they sent as many of us here as possible,”. 

“Well, you can take any of Karev’s babies off of him, he’s monitoring two at the minute and I’d prefer one baby per person,” Addison smiled as she gave out the order. Meredith smiled back, going over to Karev. Addison watched her until one of the babies started to code. This was going to be a long night. 

It took an hour and twenty minutes before the back-up generator actually started to work and the lights finally came back on in the NICU and the monitors started to work on all the babies before they had had to make decisions about which had them and best of all the oxygen came on which meant they no longer needed to manually ventilate the babies. 

“Okay!” Addison got the attention of all the residents and interns in the room, “Karev, stay! The rest of you, go back to the pit and find somewhere to help,”. Meredith gave her a soft smile as she walked out and Addison offered one back as went over to the NICU window. She had completely lost track of time far too long ago but it was pitch black outside with the only light coming from the occasional lightning strikes which were preceded by huge claps of thunder. It was terrible outside. Nobody was going to go home anytime soon. 

She was called into a couple of surgeries and more consults before the night was up and by the end of the night, she was about fifteen seconds away from collapsing. It was days like this she hated her job. She was so tired and she lost a baby. The rain had eased up by the time morning light had come around, shedding light on the leftover nighttime chaos of the hospital and it truly was chaos. 

  
Addison just needed a break. “This way,” Meredith’s voice broke through her thoughts of finding an empty on-call room. She followed her to some back hallway with a gurney there. Meredith took a seat on it and patted the space next to her. Addison took a seat, leaning against the wall next to her. 

“Rounds start in five min-” Addison started but was cut off by Meredith shushing her. 

“The silence, enjoy the silence, Addie,” she whispered, leaning her head against Addison’s shoulder. Addison could get behind that. She pressed a kiss to Meredith’s forehead as she let herself relax. It would be so easy to fall asleep right now but she couldn’t because in five minutes they had another day to get through with even more patients. 

“Meredith, I need to ta-” Derek’s voice carried around the hallway and Addison opened her eyes to see him framed in an entrance to the hallway, shock still. Meredith hadn’t moved and Addison looked down to see she had fallen asleep. She looked back at Derek and took a deep breath. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice that fake kind of calm that he would always use when holding back uncontrolled and unrestrained anger. The explosive kind. The kind that hurt people. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a few more chapters coming   
> avery :)


	3. see you later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meredith and addison deal with the fallout of derek finding out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title of this chapter in google docs was 'i guess i'm invested now' cs this was meant to be a one-shot 
> 
> this isn't close to the final chapter... i have so many ideas...
> 
> [also i cannot spell anathesia - medicine is mean]

“Meredith, I need to ta-” Derek’s voice carried around the hallway and Addison opened her eyes to see him framed in an entrance to the hallway, shock still. Meredith hadn’t moved and Addison looked down to see she had fallen asleep. She looked back at Derek and took a deep breath. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice that fake kind of calm that he would always use when holding back uncontrolled and unrestrained anger. The explosive kind. The kind that hurt people. 

They hadn’t discussed this. She wasn’t going to do this without Meredith. She slowly looked back at the woman on her shoulder. “Mer?” she whispered. 

“One more minute, Addie,” came the quiet mumble in response. 

“Mer, you need to wake up,” she whispered more urgently, nudging her a bit. 

“What?” she sighed, waking up and looking directly at Addison instead of the other person at the end of the hallway. Addison just turned her head to look back at Derek. Meredith followed her eye line and Addison felt the moment she saw him, stiffening up next to her and her breath hitching in her throat as she shifted slightly away from Addison. She didn’t take offence though, she couldn’t blame her. She moved her hand down next to Meredith’s as she watched Derek, carefully. Meredith covered her pinky with her own as she did the same. 

“What’s going on here?” Derek repeated slowly, spitting out each word violently.    
  
Addison looked back over at Meredith who just gave her a small nod. 

“Meredith and I are dating,” she looked Derek directly in the eye as she said those words and instantly regretted it as he looked between both of them, pure anger filling his eyes. 

“Derek,” Meredith tried, speaking softly and calmly. Calmer than Addison felt. Judging by the pain in the hand that Meredith now had fully clasped in her own, Meredith felt a lot less calm than that too. 

She watched as Derek went to say something, opening his mouth again and again like a goldfish before he stormed out, slamming the door so hard it almost fell off its hinges and shook the whole hallway. 

“Mer,” she turned to face Meredith concerned at the same time as Meredith turned to face her and said “Addie” with the same infliction. They both looked at each other expectantly, waiting for the other to speak. 

“Whose service are you on, today?” Addison eventually broke the silence. 

“Ortho with Torres,” Meredith smiled weakly and Addison breathed out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“Okay. That’s okay,” Addison breathed.

“Both of us, just avoid him today,” Meredith spoke the words they were both thinking. 

“That’s the best plan,” Addison agreed as she looked at the time. Rounds. Meredith followed her gaze to the clock and the same realisation overcame her. 

“I’ll see you tonight,” there was a hint of questioning in Meredith’s voice as she hopped off the gurney.

“I’ll see you then,” Addison smiled, pulling on their still joined hands so Meredith turned back to face her with a smile. Addison pulled her closer again and pressed a kiss to her lips. Meredith smiled and shook her head, placing another kiss to Addison’s lips before she turned with a laugh and ran down the hall. 

“See you later,” she called behind her. 

Addison smiled to herself as she watched the back of her girlfriend disappear down the hall. She got up and followed her, getting to the surgical floor just to see Meredith leaving for rounds. “Yang! With me!” she called at the exasperated resident. She assumed Izzie was on Hahn’s service again. 

The day was spent ducking down random hallways and hiding in supply closets. The first time she saw him, she just took the long route to the NICU, ignoring Cristina’s confusion. The second time, she was on her way to the OR and hid in a supply closet. The third time, she was on her way out of the OR and ended up scrubbing out for five extra minutes while she waited for him to leave from next to the OR board. The fourth time, she was in the hallway again and ducked around a corner. The fifth time, Cristina questioned her as she pulled her around a random corner. 

“What’s going on?” she demanded. 

“Derek found out about Meredith and I this morning and now I am tactically avoiding him,” Addison explained, looking back round the corner. He was gone.

For Meredith, avoiding Derek was slightly easier. Somehow, he just wasn’t near her all day. She had Addison random update texts. Seven texts of places Addison had been hiding before she received the one fatal text. 

**Addison:** I’m hiding in a surgical floor closet on the C hallway because I heard Derek yell at Karev. This is getting ridiculous. 

Meredith looked up on her phone. That’s where she was, she looked behind her to see him coming around the corner, looking down at a chart. Crap. She pushed into the supply closet next to her and almost fell over Addison. 

“What are you doing here?” Addison asked at a whisper. 

“The same thing as you,” Meredith hissed, taking a seat on an overturned bucket next to Addison. 

“Maybe, he’ll calm down tomorrow,” Addison tried hopefully. 

“Yeah, maybe, Derek Shepherd will calm down from finding out his ex-wife and ex-girlfriend are dating,” Meredith whispered, her head falling into her hands. 

“Good point,” Addison sighed next to her. 

“We might need a new plan,” Meredith mumbled, looking around the tiny space they were stuck in. 

“We definitely need a new plan,” Addison sighed. Meredith stood up and peered out the window; Derek was disappearing down the corridor. 

“We can leave,” Meredith turned back around to Addison, holding out her hand to the woman. Addison took a hold of it, pulling herself up using the hand and pressing a kiss to Meredith’s cheek before she opened up the door for her. 

“I’ll see you later, Doctor Grey,” Addison smiled as they got into the hallway. 

  
“See you later, Doctor Montgomery,” Meredith laughed before she had to turn away and go in the other direction toward her surgery with Callie. 

-

They both desperately avoided Derek, with the help of other people, for two days. The third day was when it exploded with Bailey transferring Meredith from Torres’ service to Addison’s, which wasn’t something they were complaining about. However, then they were assigned to a case with Derek. 

They ran into the ER to find Derek standing there over a patient. “She caused a car crash after she had a seizure, she’s also six months pregnant,” Cristina gave them the rundown as they walked in. 

“Grey, I need an ultrasound,” Addison smiled as she started to attach fetal heart rate monitors to the mother's stomach. 

“Yang, I need a full-body CT,” Derek gave out the order as he finished his neuro exam. 

“Full-body CT?” Addison questioned as she set up the ultrasound, “She’s pregnant,”. 

“I need to see the full extent of her injuries,” Derek bite back. 

“So get an MRI,”. 

  
“We need to be quick,”.

“She’s stable enough to get through an MRI,” Bailey backed Addison up as she looked between the exes suspiciously. 

“So’s the baby,” Addison added as she checked the ultrasound images, “Healthy heartbeat and no signs of distress,”. She looked around and had a decision to make, she didn’t need to stay with the baby however did she really want to leave Meredith alone on this case.

“Yang. Stay with the patient. Page me with any sign of seizure activity,” Derek ordered as he left the room. That answered her question. 

“Me-” she cut herself off. They were at work, “Grey. Monitor the baby closely for any signs of distress, page me if there are any changes,”. 

“Got it,” Meredith smiled softly before Addison left by a different door to Derek. 

“Has he said anything to either of you yet?” Cristina asked as they started to move to head to the MRI on Bailey’s orders. 

“We haven’t given him a chance,” Meredith sighed. 

“This is going to be awkward,” Cristina laughed. 

“I’m aware,” Meredith smiled. 

“Who’s Cristina talking about?” Lexie piped up, she was the only intern still with them. 

“Addison and I are dating,” Meredith answered quickly, “Derek found out three days ago,”. It wasn’t exactly a secret anymore.

-

Derek didn’t come back until the scans came back. She had a brain tumour which caused the seizures which caused the crash and needed emergency surgery on her abdomen to fix issues with her bowel and liver. Addison came back too and they were all standing in a room with Bailey deciding what to do. 

They couldn’t agree on what method for the tumour resection was best. Derek wanted to choose the easier option which took longer, risking the baby’s life as the mother was under anaesthesia for too long. 

  
“You are one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. You are perfectly capable,” Addison fought back, “You have a duty to protect the baby,”. 

“That’s your patient, not mine!” Derek yelled. 

“Unfortunately, your patient is incubating my patient so what you do to yours affects what happens to mine,” Addison’s voice stayed calm and not shouting as Derek looked almost red with fury. 

“So it would be better for me to do the safer surgery!” he yelled. 

“Not when you put the patient under anaesthesia for that long and when you do the surgery,” Addison raised her voice slightly as she spoke. 

“This doesn’t seem like an argument about a surgery,” Cristina leaned over and whispered in Meredith's ear as Derek yelled a rebuttal about the surgery being easier. 

“Addison’s in the right,” Meredith whispered back as Addison let out an exasperated sigh and repeated the fact the harder surgery was easy for him. 

“Oh, I know,” Cristina laughed, “McDreamy could do that surgery in his sleep,”. 

“Stop calling him that,” Meredith hissed as Derek yelled about how he was right and he had an obligation to do the easy surgery to save his patient. 

“You think your patient wants to lose their baby,” Addison argued, her voice still surprisingly calm, “It’s too premature to be safe. If we can save the baby, we save the baby. What happened to do no harm?”. 

“What happened to considering everyone’s opinions?” Derek yelled, “We don’t know my way will have effects on the baby,” he added more hurriedly. 

“I don’t think he’s talking about surgery,” Cristina leaned over and whispered in Meredith’s ear. 

  
“You won’t consider my opinion as the head of neonatal surgery, I am telling you that the length of time that your surgery will take will most likely have negative effects on the baby’s health and most likely lead to fetal distress,” Addison bit back forcefully. 

“As the head of neurosurgery, I am telling you that my surgery is best for my patient!” Derek yelled as the door was flung open. 

  
“What’s going on in here?” Richard Webber’s voice echoed around the room, “Doctor Shepherd, I can hear on the other side of this floor,”. 

“Then you should know that Doctor Montgomery,” Derek practically spat out Addison’s name, “Wants me to take on a more dangerous and difficult surgery,”. 

“Doctor Montgomery, explain,” Richard turned to Addison. 

“The surgery that Doctor Shepherd wants to do puts the baby at jeopardy, the mother is under anaesthesia for too long,” she explained calmly. The Chief stepped forward and looked more closely at the scans, asking both the surgeons to name the method they were suggesting. 

“Derek, you can do that method in your sleep,” Richard sighed as soon as the name had left Addison’s mouth, “Do that method and don’t risk the baby. You have OR 3,” he turned on his heel and walked out. 

“Yang! Get the patient to surgery,” Derek gave out the order before he turned to Addison, “You have to have everything, don’t you?” he spat the words out before he followed Richard out of the door, slamming it behind him so it shook the room. 

Cristina went to follow him out the door, laughing, “That definitely wasn’t about the surgery,”. 

  
“Shut up, Cristina,” Meredith sighed as she left the room with a smug smile. 

“Would someone care to tell me what is going on here?” Bailey looked between Meredith and Addison, the only two left in the room. 

Addison looked up at Meredith with a soft smile and Meredith just gave her a small nod of ‘go-ahead’. “Meredith and I are dating and Derek found out,” Addison sighed. 

Bailey looked as though she was going to say something as she looked between the two of them in shock, “I-” she started, “I-” she tried again, looking between the two of them, “I-” she threw her hands up in the air in exasperation before walking to the door and stopping, turning around and facing Addison, “Treat her like every other resident and we won’t have an issue,” she warned before walking out. 

“Are you okay?” Addison asked as soon as the door had shut. 

“Are you?” Meredith smiled back, raising an eyebrow

“You’re not on-call tonight?” Addison questioned as she put the chart she was holding down and crossed the room to Meredith. 

  
“No, I have tonight and the day shift tomorrow off,” Meredith smiled, grabbing Addison’s hand as she came closer and pulling her the last of the way, wrapping her arms around her waist. Addison reached a hand up and tucked a hair behind her ear. 

  
“Good. I’m not on-call either and I was hoping to take you out to dinner,” she smiled. 

“Oh, really?” Meredith laughed. 

  
“Really,” Addison smiled softly, “I just realised we haven’t been on a proper official date,”. 

“Well, then I’m looking forward to it,” Meredith pushed up on her tiptoes slightly to meet Addison’s lips for a quick kiss. 

“For now, I have to invite you to OR 3 to scrub in on a surgery and make sure a baby isn’t killed by an angry surgeon,” Addison smiled as she pulled away. 

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy myself,” Meredith smiled, pressing another kiss to Addison’s lips before they both pulled away and not so deliberately staggered their exits from the room. Addison having to hang back to grab the chart. 

-

To say there was tension in OR 3 would be the understatement of the century. You couldn’t even cut with a knife. You’d need a chainsaw to cut through the anger and fury radiating off the neurosurgeon combined with the confusion of his girlfriend, the general awkwardness of Lexie trying occasionally to break the tension, the exasperation of Bailey and Addison’s general annoyance at Derek, all of it not helped by Cristina’s smugness as she clearly waited for it all to explode. 

Meredith had one job. To watch and monitor the baby’s heart rate while Addison helped Bailey repair the bowel and liver without causing any harm to the baby. She didn’t mind, it was quite relaxing and it took her out of the tension of the area around the patient a bit. She could breathe a bit more easily away from it all. So she watched the fetal heart monitor carefully and waited. It was all going well until something happened and she watched the heart rate plummet. 

“Dr Montgomery! The baby is in bradycardia,” Meredith called out, standing up almost instinctively as she spoke. 

“Shit,” Addison muttered, “What’s their heart rate?” she added a little louder. 

“Fluctuating between 100 and 90,” Meredith informed her. 

“Doctor Shepherd, what are you doing?” Addison asked, still operating as she spoke, “Because we have no issues that could’ve caused it here,”. 

“I don’t think I’ve done anything here,” Derek snapped as carried on working too.

“Down to 80,” Meredith warned. 

“Yang, has he been anywhere near the limbic system? It could have affected the hypothalamus and hormone output,” Addison directed the question somewhere she may get an answer. 

“Yes,” Cristina confirmed. 

“Find a way to fix it then,” Addison demanded, “Or we’re going to lose the baby,”. 

“Suction,” Derek sighed and Meredith assumed that was the sound of him fixing what he did as the heart rate went back up quickly. 

“Back up to 130,” Meredith sighed, taking a seat again. 

“You know you can direct your questions at me,” Derek quipped as he pulled out the tumour.

“I am going to tactically ignore you and not have this conversation right now,” Addison sighed, focusing on the surgery. 

Derek went to say something but Bailey got there first, “I would sincerely suggest, you don’t say anything else,” she gave him her signature Nazi glare. 

The tension didn’t get any better after that except Cristina’s smug smile suddenly became a small disappointed pout as she realised it wasn’t all going to explode. Derek left, finishing his bit just five minutes before Bailey and Addison closed up her abdomen. They didn’t see Derek again for the rest of the day and now Meredith had something to look forward to. Their date 

“Wipe that smile off your face, it’s weird,” Cristina criticised her as they changed out of their scrubs. 

“What?” Meredith shrugged as she pulled on her top. 

  
“That smile, it’s weird,” Cristina pointed at her lips. 

“What’s weird?” Izzie asked. 

“Meredith won’t stop smiling,” Cristina eyed her suspiciously, “What’s going on?”. 

“Nothing,” Meredith shrugged. 

  
“Are you ready to go?” the voice came from the doorway and Meredith spun round to see her girlfriend leaning against the doorframe. 

“Yeah,” she smiled, grabbing her bag and shutting the locker before she went to the doorway and slotted her hand into Addison’s. There was no point trying to hide anymore. The one person who they didn’t want to find out knew now so there was no point hiding. Addison looked down at their hands as they started to walk for just a second, but it was a noticeable one, and Meredith almost expected her to pull away. She didn’t though, instead she squeezed Meredith’s hand gently as a smile lit up her face. 

-

They changed before they left for their date. Addison dressed in this stunning red dress that took Meredith’s breath away as soon as she saw it and left her contemplating whether or not they should go. Meredith had selected a black dress, she didn’t notice that Addison was contemplating the exact same thing as she looked her up and down in stunned silence. When her brain finally decided to work she managed to get out three words: “You look beautiful,”. 

“I could say the exact same thing about you,” came the quick response, it was breathed out with a soft smile and Meredith could only function enough to smile back. Addison crossed the space between them to grab Meredith’s hand to pull her closer and pressed a kiss to her lips. Meredith’s brain started to function after that. 

“Should we get going?” she asked. 

  
“Yes,” Addison smiled widely, taking her hand and leading her down the stairs and out the door. Addison drove them to the restaurant, it wasn’t far and it wasn’t too late at night. By most accounts, they’d gotten lucky with their schedules to be able to have this date. Their first date, technically, and it was the first first date that Meredith had been on where she didn’t feel nervous like she was going to get hurt, she felt happy and excited. It felt easy. 

As they sat down the conversation flowed easily too and it wasn’t all about work, just about their lives. Addison telling Meredith about Bizzy, Archer and The Captain and Meredith telling her about life with Ellis Grey as a mother. It wasn’t just deep things about their life, Meredith learnt about Addison’s favourite films and music and why. Small things building up an important picture of each other. The perfect first date just without the nerves. Addison drove them back but it was Meredith that stopped her at the front door and pulled her into a kiss. 

“I believe that’s how a first date is meant to end,” she whispered as she pulled away. 

“The best ending,” Addison smiled, meeting Meredith’s lips in another kiss. This one was deeper, longer, more passionate with Meredith pulling Addison closer. The kiss was expectant but it was leading. It was Addison that broke it, catching her breath for a second. 

“You know, it’s not customary to sleep with someone on a first date,” she whispered breathlessly. 

“Shut up,” Meredith laughed, opening the front door and taking Addison’s hand to lead her inside. 

-

Addison woke to her alarm the next morning with the one thought that she should have gotten more sleep; it was soon overridden by Meredith moaning with annoyance and rolling over next to her as the loud alarm blared next to her. Addison reached out and turned it off violently before she rolled over and pressed a kiss to Meredith’s cheek, “Try and get some sleep, Mer,” she whispered before very begrudgingly getting out of bed and ready for the day. She left Meredith a thermos of coffee and a kiss to her forehead before she left for work. 

Meredith woke naturally for the second time naturally at somewhere closer to midday. The house was empty and everything was quiet and there was a perfect coffee next to her. She took a slow sip. Perfection. She smiled and reached for her phone, sending a quick text to Addison. 

**Meredith:** Thank you for the coffee

The text back was instantaneous. 

**Addison:** You only just woke up? It’s lunchtime. Make sure you eat something, please. 

**Meredith:** You trust me in the kitchen?

Meredith smiled as she questioned her girlfriend, sitting up in bed so she could drink the coffee properly without choking. 

**Addison:** I have faith in your abilities to make a sandwich

The taller woman was texting her girlfriend as she waited to do a c-section on a mother whose baby was going to need surgery soon after she’d been born. It was going to be a painful fight for her life, Meredith was a welcome brain break. 

**Meredith:** You have more faith in me than most

Addison smiled to herself as she received a page. A consult in the ER. She slid her phone into her pocket and ran down there, yelling an order at Stevens to prep patients for surgery. It was twenty minutes later after her consult where she left Karev to keep an eye on a pregnant mother, she received another text from Meredith. A photo of a not that good-looking sandwich. Addison laughed to herself as she sent a quick text back. 

**Addison:** I was right to have faith

She didn’t see Meredith again until she got out of surgery. It was a long one and she was going to be on-call, like Meredith, all night waiting in case she was needed. So, she made her way to the on-call room which she knew Meredith liked. She’d picked the right one as she opened the door and pushed her way into the on-call room to see Meredith lying there. It was around midnight. 

“Hi,” Meredith pushed herself up on her elbows to look at Addison with a smile, “How was your day?”. 

“My day was good,” Addison smiled, taking a seat next to Meredith on the bed, “I’m on-call all night, the Morgans had their baby,”. 

“How is she?” Meredith asked as Addison moved so their bodies slotted together in a hug, holding Meredith close. 

“Surgery went well. Better than expected,” Addison rattled off her usual spiel through a yawn. It had been a long day. 

“Get some sleep,” Meredith laughed, pulling her to lie down in a hug. “I’ll wake you if you’re paged,”. Addison didn’t have the strength to debate it. She was tired, it had been a long surgery and she hadn’t had much sleep the night before.

She wasn’t woken until someone opened the door loudly. “Gr-” Derek’s voice came into the room and was cut off. Addison opened her eyes to see him framed in the doorway. Meredith was awake in her arms and scrambled to get up. “This is a workplace!” Derek yelled, “There’s a new clinical trial patient,” he added, slamming the door behind him as he stalked off. 

“Did you get any sleep?” Addison sat up, grabbing Meredith’s hand. 

  
“No, I came in and out between dealing with things in the ER. I was only paged twice though,” she pressed a kiss to Addison’s lips, “I’ll text you,”. 

“See you later,” Addison smiled softly, passing Meredith her pager. 

-

“You’re uncharacteristically stressed,” Callie’s voice broke through Addison’s thoughts as she tried not to obsessively check her phone. She was only at the hospital because she was on-call to the NICU for two patients now. She had been in surgery in the morning and since she got out she hadn’t heard anything about Derek and Meredith in a fight so it must be fine, except her brain hadn’t managed to get that message. 

“Mer is spending the whole day with Shepherd on the clinical trial,” Addison turned to face her friend. 

“Shit,” Callie sighed, leaning against the nurses' station next to her, “I haven’t heard about anything happening,”. 

  
“Me neither,” Addison sighed, “Doesn’t stop me worrying. He’s a ticking time bomb ready to explode,”. 

Callie tried to comfort her, “It’s not that bad,”.

“What happened when Meredith dated Finn?” Addison turned to face Callie. 

“He’s with Rose,” she shrugged. 

“He considers himself above everyone. It’s one rule for him and another for everyone else,” Addison sighed. 

“You look like you’ve just lost a whole NICU worth of patients,” Mark laughed, joining them and leaning against the nurses' station. Addison sighed. Not him, not now. 

“My patients are fine, Mark. Your best friend is my problem,” Addison bit back. 

“What did he do?” Mark laughed, “Do you not like Rose either?” he asked. 

“What?” Addison turned to him confused. 

“It’s nothing,” he mumbled with a small pout. Addison ignored her old friend, shaking her head. 

“Meredith and I are dating. Derek just found out,” she sighed. 

Mark stopped and turned to her in shock as Callie let out a giggle at his confused face. His face did make the day a little better. It was going through a hundred emotions as he tried to process Addison’s words. Addison couldn’t even tell what he was thinking. It was far too funny. Addison smirked and leant back against the desk, giving Callie a look as Mark tried to process the news. 

“You know what?” Callie smiled, “This,” she pointed to Mark, “The highlight of my day,”. 

“You must have a very sad day,” Mark quipped. 

“Yeah. I haven’t broken a bone in a week,” Callie complained, “A week!”. Mark and Addison both laughed and Callie turned and glared at them. “My pain is not amusing!”. 

Addison smiled, “We’re in the business of saving lives here,”. 

“When I break bones it saves lives but people aren’t being stupid right now. Can people start being stupid?” Callie complained. 

“Mark is standing right next to you,” Addison smirked, turning to look at him and raising an eyebrow. 

“Hey!” he complained with a tiny pout. 

“She’s n-” Callie cut off as there was a yell from the balcony. 

“Whore!” was all they heard as they spun around to see Meredith backing up against the railing and Derek towering over her. Panic filled Addison’s veins as she stared at her girlfriend, her heart speeding up and breath getting short. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is fluff here to make up for the cliffhanger  
> i like cliffhangers...
> 
> avery :)


	4. you have me (i have you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meredith needs saving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title of this chapter in my google docs is medicine (meddison) is better than murder (merder)

Meredith pressed a kiss to Addison’s lips and took the pager from her hand before she ran off down the hall after Derek. This wasn’t going to be a fun day. Derek didn’t say a word to her unless it was necessary and he definitely didn’t let her anywhere near the patient in surgery. It was five hours of a complete cold shoulder by the time they got out of the surgery with a dead patient on the table. 

“I’m thinking we adjust the do-” Meredith started to suggest when he turned around and glared at her. 

“No!” he yelled, “You! You lost the right to talk to me when you started fucking my ex-wife!” he violently scrubbed his arms. 

“No,” Meredith sighed, her voice significantly calmer than Derek’s. “You started dating Rose. You moved on, I am allowed to move on too and I am allowed to move on with whoever I want. You are not allowed to be annoyed at me. You moved on,”. 

“That doesn’t matter. You don’t just date your ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife,” Derek yelled. 

“Why not?” Meredith shrugged, “Unless she’s dating someone else, which I’m certain she isn’t, it’s okay but I guess you wouldn’t know about that,” Meredith fought back calmly, that might have been a low blow but she didn’t care as she finished scrubbing and walked out, heading straight for the nurses' station so she could find something else to do. 

“That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think!” Derek’s voice boomed as the door slammed and he followed her out of the scrub room, 

“You both knew. It’s different and that doesn’t matter. You don’t get an opinion on any aspect of my personal life anymore,” Meredith turned around to speak to him but carried on walking backwards. 

“I can have whatever opinion I want!” Derek yelled, walking closer and closer to Meredith and she found herself backing up faster, “You can’t just keep acting like a whore!” he shouted as Meredith’s back hit into the barrier. She could barely breathe as she looked up at Derek towering above her. 

-

“Whore!”. The word echoed in Addison’s head as she looked around the room that had been brought to a halt. All talking ceased. All movement stopped. She was frozen. She couldn’t just be frozen. She willed her feet to move. They didn't, she tried again but she didn’t need to, Mark was already running up the stairs as she watched Derek go to yell something else, getting ever closer to Meredith. Maybe, everything was just moving in slow-motion because she began to move to, following Mark up the stairs. She didn’t notice Cristina on her tail. 

-

“I’m not a whore,” Meredith bit back and tried to get out of the prison that Derek had created with his body but she couldn’t move. 

“You’re sleeping with one!” Derek spat the words in her face and Meredith lifted her hand to wipe her face but Derek grabbed her wrist, squeezing it tightly. 

“Don’t you dare call her a whore!” Meredith let herself raise her voice for the first time, trying to get out of Derek’s grip again. Fighting to get out. She needed to get out. 

  
“I can call her whatever I want!” Derek twisted her wrist and Meredith almost cried out in pain, but then the pain was gone and there was a body between her and Derek. 

“Step away, Derek,” came Mark’s calm voice and Meredith took a deep breath as Mark's body blocked him and forced a huge gap between them, holding him back. She took another deep breath and suddenly tears were falling down her cheeks and she was shaking as softer hands grabbed a hold of hers. 

She looked up. Addison. She took another deep breath as she was brought into a hug, arms she could relax in. She wrapped her arms around the taller woman and buried her face in her neck, hoping the world would go away. 

-

Addison pulled her arms around the shaking body and held her close as Richard came running down the hall. “You two! My office now!” he pointed at Mark and Derek. 

“Here,” Cristina’s voice had Addison looking in another direction. She was holding a first aid kit. 

“Shit, Mer, your wrist,” she practically peeled Meredith off her so she could look at her wrist, red with his handprint. 

“In here,” it was Doctor Bailey holding open the door to an empty conference room. Cristina went in first and Addison wrapped an arm around Meredith to pull her in, studying her wrist the whole time. 

Addison lent against a table and Meredith stood in front of her as Doctor Bailey shut the door on the four of them. “Mer? Can you bend your fingers?” it was Cristina who spoke.

Addison watched as Meredith winced in pain as she curled her fingers into a fist. “Just about,” her voice was so broken as she spoke and Addison just wanted to pull her into her arms again and protect her from the world. 

“Can you turn it over?” Cristina asked, studying Meredith’s wrist closely. She winced as she did that movement as well. 

“At least it’s not broken then,”. Addison hadn’t even noticed Callie join them in the room, “That’s just a sprain,” Callie added before turning to Cristina, “Best course of action for a sprained wrist?”. 

Addison was already reaching for the first aid kit and getting the ice pack and bandages out, “Rest and elevate above the heart. Ice for twenty minutes every two hours and bandage for compression. Ibuprofen or paracetamol for swelling,”. 

“I’ve got it,” Addison stood up and went over to Meredith, unpackaging the bandage and taking her wrist gently. 

“I’ll get some painkillers,” Cristina offered before adding more quietly, “I’ll be back in a second, Mer,”. Bailey and Callie followed her out with mumbled excuses that Addison didn’t pay attention to. They were alone.

“Sit down, Mer,” Addison pulled out a chair for her and Meredith sat down with a small sigh and deep breath. 

“Addie?” she started as Addison took her wrist in her hand again gently. 

“Yeah,” Addison smiled, looking up at her as she completed the familiar wrap on her hand, “Say if it’s too tight,” she added softly. 

“Are you okay?” Meredith asked and Addison found herself laughing. 

“Am I okay?” she smiled, “Are you okay?”. Meredith pressed her finger over the last step of the bandage as Addison reached behind her a clip. 

Meredith just shrugged as Addison, fastened the bandage and grabbed an ice pack, breaking it and placing it on Meredith’s wrist. “How bad is the pain?” Addison asked, standing up and perching on the arm of Meredith’s chair. 

“Not too bad,” Meredith smiled weakly as she elevated her wrist. 

“Really?” Addison checked in disbelief, tucking her hair behind her ear and cupping Meredith’s cheek. 

“Yes, really,” Meredith’s undamaged hand reached up and wrapped behind the back of Addison’s neck, pulling her closer. Addison smiled as she leaned down to meet Meredith’s lips in a gentle kiss before she pulled away to wipe away some of Meredith’s tears gently. 

“Chief wants you in his office,” Bailey poked her head around the door. Addison stood up and went to hold her hand out to Meredith before she remembered that she needed to keep the ice pack on and needed both hands to do that. Meredith had other ideas though, reaching forward with her good hand and taking hold of Addison’s.

“You need to keep your hand iced,” Addison grabbed the ice pack Meredith had discarded from the table, “You are not losing function of your hand on my watch,” she warned, “Elevate,”. 

Meredith sighed and picked her arm up above her heart, “Happy,”. 

Addison pressed the ice pack back onto Meredith’s hand, “Now I am,”. 

“You don’t need to worry so much,” Meredith sighed. 

“You’re a surgeon,” Addison scolded as they walked down the hallway to the Chief’s office. It didn’t occur to her how intimate the position must have looked at the time with their hands clasped together as Addison pressed an ice pack to Meredith’s other. They moved positions as they crossed the walkway to the Chief’s office. Meredith’s hand took the place of Addison’s to hold the ice pack in place while Addison pushed open the Chief office door for her. Meredith walked in and Addison followed her, both of them waiting just inside the door to see what Webber was going to say. 

“Take a seat, please,” Richard asked. There was only one chair where he had indicated. Mark leaning against the window sill instead of sitting in a chair like Derek was, Derek was oddly quiet and subdued, he looked like a toddler who had just told he wasn’t allowed chocolate. Addison let Meredith take the chair, moving to perch on the arm as she had been before. 

“Derek, can you wait outside, please?” Richard asked and he left quickly, shutting the door a lot more quietly. Mark looked over at Addison, nodding for her to take the seat. She shrugged and gave him the same look. He shook his head and Addison sighed, sliding into the seat next to Meredith. She could see Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex running toward the office. Bailey got in between Alex and whatever he tried to say to Derek and let Cristina pass. The other three took a seat on the floor begrudgingly. 

“Meredith, can you please explain your version of events?” Richard asked, exasperated.

“I have painkillers and water,” Cristina popped her head around the door. Mark went over and took them from Cristina and passed them to Meredith. Addison ended up helping her. Popping two of the tablets into her hand and holding the water until she needed it. 

“Doctor Shepherd and I had just come out of a clinical trial surgery,” Meredith started the explanation with a deep breath, “He’d been refusing to speak to me since yesterday and the pregnant patient and he had only spoken to me when necessary today because he found out Addison and I were dating four days ago and I spoke to him as we got out of the surgery. I was going to suggest what we adjust the dose too but he started yelling. He said I had no right to talk to him because of Addison and I defended myself. I told him he had no right to judge my love life because we weren’t dating and he was dating someone else. He then said it just wasn’t right I was dating Addison and I asked why and made a kind of low blow about lying to people in a relationship, which with hindsight I probably shouldn’t have said,”. Addison wished she could interrupt and tell Meredith she shouldn’t blame herself. 

“I left the scrub room after that to walk away because it didn’t seem productive but he followed me slamming the door; he then said I was hypocritical and then again I told him he wasn’t allowed an opinion on my personal life and tried again to walk away. He then told me he could have whatever opinion he wanted and that was when I hit against the barrier walking backwards and he got closer, eventually stopping me from moving as he yelled I was acting like a whore,” Meredith took a deep breath and Addison had to stop herself from running outside and punching Derek herself. 

What gave him the right to say those things to her, to hurt her like that? Addison simultaneously wanted to punch the lights out of Derek Christopher Shepherd, pull her girlfriend into a hug and never let go and scream. She couldn’t do any of those things. So she folded her arms across her chest and curled her hands up in fists where they couldn’t be seen and tried to remind herself that murder wasn’t the answer. 

“I told him I wasn’t a whore and he spat in my face that I was sleeping with one. He spat so I lifted my hand to wipe the spit away because it was disgusting and he grabbed it. I tried to get my wrist out of his grip but he held tighter. I told him Addison wasn’t a whore and tried to get out again and that’s when Mark got in between us but by that time he had twisted my wrist,”. Addison had given up, the ice pack was balanced and Meredith was using her free hand to pick at the water bottle. She reached out and took the hand in hers and offered Meredith a small smile. 

“Sloan, what’s your account of the events?” Richard sighed. 

Mark stood up a little straighter, having gone into his own head a little. He walked closer to the Chief, leaning against the table behind them. “I was with Addison and Callie and we were just talking. Addison had just told me she and Grey were dating. I heard Derek yell the word ‘whore’ and looked up to see him standing over Grey like he was going to hurt her. I wasn’t going to let him hurt her. I’ve been fighting Derek since we were kids. I know I’m stronger than him so I got in between,” he shrugged. 

“Doctor Montgomery?” Richard turned to her. 

“Same as Mark and Meredith, talking with him and Callie and then Derek's yell. Of course, I went up there. The last four days have been an exercise in avoiding an angry Derek and we were assigned to the case with him yesterday and there was some disagreement and then I don’t think his mood was helped by the fact he found Meredith and I taking a nap together,” Addison recounted the events, throwing a glare behind her to stop any inevitable Mark Sloan inappropriate comment. 

“Okay, thank you,” Richard sighed, his head falling into his hands. “How bad is the wrist?”. 

  
“Sprained,” Meredith smiled weakly as Addison’s pager went off. She looked down. Emergency surgery with last night’s baby. She looked at Richard urgently as she stood up. 

“Okay, Meredith, this is an order to take the rest of today and tomorrow off and rest. Have someone take time off with you, I don’t care who,” he dismissed the two of them, “Send Derek back in on your way out,”. 

Mark saved them the hassle, opening the door for them and yelling for Derek to get back in. Addison turned to Meredith as soon as she got out. “Emergency surgery,” she sighed. 

  
“Go,” Meredith's eyes widened with panic, “Save a tiny life, Cristina can take me home,”. 

“Are you sure?” Addison asked. 

  
“I’ll make sure she ices it and elevates it properly and takes painkillers to keep swelling down,” Cristina answered for Meredith. 

“I can take tomorrow off,” Addison pressed a kiss to Meredith’s cheek. 

“Okay, I’ll be fine, go save a life,” Meredith practically shooed her away. 

“Karev! You’re scrubbing in,” Addison turned to Alex before turning and pressing another kiss to Meredith’s cheek, “See you later,” she whispered before turning and running off. 

“See you later,” Meredith called after her. 

“You’re whipped,” Cristina turned to face her with a laugh. 

“Drive me home and get me tequila,” Meredith deadpanned, glaring at her. 

“Fine but I get to stay in Izzie’s bed when you get me so drunk that I can’t drive,” Cristina smiled, starting to walk off. 

“Why my bed?” Izzie asked angrily before turning to Meredith, “Are you okay?” she asked gently. 

  
“Your bed has the comfiest sheets,” Cristina shrugged at the same time as Meredith told Izzie that she was fine. 

“Are you sure?” George asked, jogging a little to keep up with Cristina and Meredith’s walking pace. 

“I’m fine,” Meredith repeated at the same time as Cristina tells George to try Izzie’s bed out for himself. 

“That’s weird,” George looked at Cristina disgusted, “You two are weird,” he looked between Cristina and Meredith. 

“Go do surgery so I can pretend I can,” Meredith smiled to Izzie before turning to George, “Go keep my interns in line so I don’t have to worry about it,”. 

“I’m your intern,” George sighed. 

  
“No, you’re George,” Meredith shrugged with a smile. 

-

“Ice,” Cristina demanded, passing her a new ice pack. It had been two hours since the last and another two since the first. 

  
“I would prefer ice in something like a martini,” Meredith quipped back, begrudgingly taking the ice pack and pressing it to her wrist. 

“I gave you the good painkillers earlier. No drinking,” Cristina smiled, “Plus I don’t think Izzie will let me steal her bed so,” she looked at the TV, “Another episode of this shitshow?”. 

“I haven’t watched TV in years. I have no idea what’s going on,” Meredith laughed as the show played the theme tune. It was some drama about people at work that really focused on their love lives. 

“Hey,” the tired call came from the doorway as Meredith heard keys being thrown into the bowl by the door and shoes and a coat being taken off. 

  
“Hey,” Meredith smiled. 

“Oh, thank god, I’m free,” Cristina laughed, “I could feel that show taking away my brain cells,” she picked up the remote and turned off the TV. 

“It was pretty shit,” Meredith laughed as Cristina grabbed her coat. 

“I’ll see you in two days,” she smiled, pulling it on. 

“See you then,” Meredith smiled to her best friend as her girlfriend was framed in the archway that led into the living room. 

“You can stay,” Addison offered. 

“Hahn has a Transmyocardial Revascularization scheduled for tomorrow. I need to try and memorise everything in the vain hope she lets me scrub in,” Cristina smiled, walking past. 

“Bye, Mer,” she called from the door. 

“Bye, Cristina,” Meredith called after her as Addison came in and took a seat on the couch next to her. 

“How are you?” she asked with a tired smile. 

“I’m fine,” Meredith sighed, “The pain in my wrist is almost non-existent and the swelling has gone down,”. 

  
“Did Cristina rewrap it at any point?” Addison asked, checking the bandage as she was careful not to move Meredith’s hand. 

“I was waiting for the swelling to go down a little more before I bothered,” Meredith shrugged as Addison looked it over. The bandages were pretty loose now. 

“Can I?” Addison asked gently, her hands hovering over the bandages. 

“Go ahead,” Meredith shrugged. 

“And by the way,” Addison smiled as she gently unravelled the bandages, making sure not to hurt Meredith in any way, “When I asked how you are I didn’t mean your wrist. I meant you in general,”. 

“I’m fine,” Meredith shrugged casually. Addison took a deep breath as she finished the wrap quickly and perfectly, placing the clip in place and putting the ice pack on top of her wrist again before she looked back up at Meredith, tucking a hair behind her ear and looking her in the eyes deeply. 

“Mer,” Addison smiled, “Today,” she took a deep breath, “Today was horrible for you, I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like but you have to let yourself feel anything you need to feel. Anger. Sadness. Anything. Just don’t bottle it up,”. 

“Addie,” Meredith laughed, “I’m fine because he was wrong and when I let him affect me he wins,” she shrugged. 

“Mer,” Addison smiled softly, “It’s allowed to affect you,”. 

“I know but it doesn’t because as soon as it was over I had you, right there and I knew I wasn’t alone and I didn’t care about Derek,” Meredith smiled with a shrug, “So I’m fine,”. 

“Okay,” Addison breathed a sigh of relief and watched as Meredith smiled more widely. She had to stop herself saying those three words. 

  
“Can we talk about anything that’s not him?” Meredith smiled. 

“Got it,” Addison smiled as Meredith blinked slowly for a second. She realised how long she had been watching the woman’s eyes and she couldn’t figure out the colour. 

“What colour are your eyes?” Addison asked out of nowhere. 

“I have no idea,” Meredith shrugged with a small laugh, “I’ve never really thought about it. Can’t you tell?”. 

“Most of the time they’re green,” Addison smiled, a thumb rubbing her cheek gently, “But sometimes they look more blue or grey and it just throws me off,”. 

“Mine throw you off,” Meredith laughed lightly, “Yours have like three different colours. There’s hazel around the pupil then you have a mix of green and blue,”. 

“Okay, so both of our eye colours are confusing,” Addison smiled, lifting up Meredith’s wrist as she realised it had been resting on her thigh. Meredith gave her a look. “It wasn’t elevated,” Addison justified herself. 

“How was the surgery, by the way?” Meredith asked. 

“Baby is all good. Should be no further complications but I left an attending in charge so I’m all yours,” she smiled. 

“I know something we could do then,” Meredith raised an eyebrow and met Addison’s lips in a kiss. Addison smiled into a kiss as she pulled Meredith closer by the waist. Meredith didn’t bother waiting though, she pushed Addison to the side as she straddled her lap, deepening the kiss as she did and going to wrap a hand around the back of Addison’s neck to pull her closer and shit. 

Meredith jerked her hand back, pulling away from the kiss, she shouldn't have moved it like that. “Mer?” Addison had already reached for the ice pack and was pressing it to her hand, “Are you okay?”. 

“Yeah, though that may not have been the smartest idea,” she laughed, her head falling to Addison’s shoulder. 

“How about we wait for your wrist to get better before we do that,” Addison leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Meredith’s lips with a smile, “And in the meantime order pizza and ice cream?”

“That is a good idea,” Meredith laughed, going to reach over for the takeaway menus on the side when Addison stopped her. 

“You were about to put weight on your wrist,” she smiled, reaching for them instead. 

“I’m going to injure it more before it gets better, aren’t I?” Meredith sighed, flicking through the menus for the pizza one. 

“I’ll try not to let that happen,” Addison pressed a kiss to her cheek as Meredith slipped off her lap to reach for the phone. 

“Just the usual?” Meredith asked as she dialled the number. 

“That’s fine,” Addison smiled. 

-

A kiss was placed on Meredith's forehead as she blinked her eyes open, “Morning, babe,” came the whisper as Meredith opened her eyes to see her girlfriend. 

“Morning, Addie,” Meredith smiled as she sat up, being careful not to put her weight on her wrist as she did. She lifted her wrist and looked at it, the painkillers had definitely worn off and it had swelled overnight. 

“Ice pack, painkillers and coffee,” Addison offered from next to her and Meredith sighed with relief. 

“Thank you,” she smiled, going straight for the painkillers and swallowing them dry before she picked up the coffee mug with one hand as Addison balanced an ice pack on her other wrist before she climbed on the bed to take a seat next to her, picking up her own mug from the bedside table. 

“Did you sleep okay?” Addison asked as Meredith shuffled closer to her. Addison wrapped an arm around her so they were tangled together as Meredith rested her head against her shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Meredith smiled, “Did you?”. 

“Yeah,” Addison laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Meredith laughed lightly as Addison pressed another kiss to her cheek and then to her jaw, trailing them across her face as Meredith laughed more, both of them trying not to spill coffee over the bed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be another chapter but it might be part of a series with that classic time jump cs i still have inspo  
> avery :)

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on [insta](https://www.instagram.com/trixicbean/?hl=en) and [tumblr](https://trixicbean.tumblr.com/) if you want more of my annoying ass


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